THREE of us together

It is finally time to change the blog title! Emerie K Massey arrived on July 21st at 1:41 in the afternoon. She was 6 lbs exactly and 20 inches long. I think they measured wrong because she didn't have that much of a cone head and a week later she was 18.5 inches long, but still that's pretty tall and skinny. She is her daddy's daughter! She already has both of us, and many others, wrapped around her little finger. Here are some of her newborn pics:





I can't express how much I love her. It's true when they say that a baby changes your life forever. I never understood that concept until now. I can't remember what life was like before her. Looking back I can't believe we ever lived without her. Becoming a mom has been a big adjustment for me. It was harder than I expected just because I am a perfectionist and I definitly didn't know what I was doing right away. I wanted to be perfect for her and sometimes I just couldn't figure out what she needed. We are getting to know each other much better now and have got a routine going. I also had a hard time not having everything in order all of the time. I can't get to the dishes or the laundry everyday and if you know me you know that I am not handling that well. One night I was crying to Newt because the laundry had been on the floor for two days and it was driving me nuts! LOL It's funny now, but I was completly serious then! I had a hard time at first with breast feeding but we have got that ironed out too. I have to admit that I don't love it. I don't mind the actual nursing and I love feeling that connection with her, but I was trying to nurse her and pump so that she could always have breast milk even when I went back to work. I felt like I was always attached to something and I didn't like that feeling that my body wasn't mine. So she gets supplemented with formula a few times a day. I had a thought one day that made me feel less guilty: On the first day of kindergarten I can never tell the kids who were exclusively breastfed. I can only tell the ones whose parents care about them and are actively involved in their lives.
The last few weeks my emotions have finally evened out and I am feeling much more normal. Newt is especially glad about that! I have to give a shout out to my husband here because he has been completly understanding and amazing. He stood right next to me and rubbed my back while I was throwing up in the delivery room and that is a testiment to what he has been like through this whole process. I love him so much! I still can't believe Emerie is ours. Sometimes I just stare at her and I think how I can't believe that I did it. She is so beautiful and I am amazed by her. My whole world revolves around that sweet baby girl. I love my little family!